Whether your child is in an inclusive setting or a special education class or school, their inclusion in their school community, activities, and friendships may be affected or limited by the ableism that pervades our society. The myths and misconceptions surrounding perceptions of disability and individuals with disabilities are evident in attitudes even in classrooms with very young children, their teachers, and parents. For example many people question whether children with disabilities can benefit from education, or assume that non-speaking children cannot understand or follow instructions.
With this in mind, first and foremost, Carson recommends that when we approach disability acceptance, we centralize the voices of individuals with disabilities. Carson tells us, “When I talk about disability awareness, or going beyond disability awareness, I always say we need to centralize the voices of people with disabilities. That means as parents and educators, we need to take ourselves out of the picture. Yes, set a framework — this is what we want to cover — but bring in people who live the experience to talk about it with kids.”
A misguided approach — even if unintentional — to disability awareness could make attitudes in your child’s class or school community worse, as Carson explains: “You can perpetuate what we're already doing. For years, I was doing the simulations [activities meant to simulate the experience of disability] and I was doing everything. I didn't realize I was doing it all wrong. It wasn't until I started teaching a disability studies class at the college level and started realizing, reading, and listening to disabled voices, and learning about disability studies, that I realized I'm doing this all wrong. No wonder there's so much resistance to inclusion. No wonder we have bullying in schools. No, we're doing this all wrong. We need to have children understand that people have needs.”
As Carson explains in the clip above, there are five topics that are important for people to address in disability awareness and that are often misunderstood or not taught elsewhere:
What about younger children?
If you have younger children, you might be wondering how to address all of this in a way that is age-appropriate. While this might seem overwhelming for young children, Carson thinks a version of this will work for all kids over time. Carson tells us that the content and focus should remain the same, but younger children are less burdened by ableist attitudes and can be brought around quickly. Children are generally more open, receptive, and committed to making the world more accessible.
With very young children, as Carson explains, “We're not necessarily going to use all those words or all those topics at once with the students. But if they have it throughout the year and it spirals, or if they at least have it once a year and it spirals, then they will get it. With my younger students (K-1st grade), I would always… invite my friends who are blind or have low vision, and who have a service dog, because the students love to pet the dog.“ Their stories help to frame ableism, assistive technology, and inclusion in a way that young kids can grasp.
If you are thinking about what you can do in your school, we put together this disability acceptance guide to steer your planning:
It's important to frame disability as normal and natural. It's also important that we use the word “disability” and model respectful language. When we use euphemisms, such as “special needs” or “differently abled,” we reinforce negative attitudes to disability, even if the euphemism seems positive and complimentary. If we can’t use the word “disability,” children will quickly perceive that shame is attached. Since the majority of people will at some time in their lives become disabled, we need to normalize and destigmatize the word.
Carson tells us that it is a best practice to “never use euphemisms for the word disability, as if the word ‘disability’ is this terrible thing, that disability is a terrible thing. And by euphemisms, I mean words that make it seem not quite as bad as people think it is, such as ‘handicapable’ or ‘differently abled’ or ‘special needs’ or ‘exceptional’ or ‘special’ — all those things we use because we're so uncomfortable with it, we're disabled."
There are many frameworks through which people view disability, but the two most common are the medical model and the social model. The medical model sees an individual’s disability as the problem. It tries to remedy disability through a medical cure, which essentially modifies the individual. Another aspect of the medical model of disability is that it tries to make the person appear less disabled or more “normal.”
The social model sees that a person’s disability isn’t the problem; rather, the problem lies in society and its institutions and practices. No medical cure is sought (though treatments to improve a person’s quality of life may be pursued); instead, the remedy seeks to dismantle the barriers that prevent disabled people from fully accessing society.
Carson explains more about the social model of disability:
Many well-meaning folks try to garner understanding or acceptance for people with disabilities by sharing stories that hold up a person with a disability as “inspirational” for doing activities that most people take for granted. Carson explains that "people with disabilities don't exist to inspire us; they're just living their lives.“ While it is wonderful to show students that there are adults with disabilities who are living successful lives, if the only people with disabilities we feature are superstars, we imply that only those who, in our minds, have “overcome” their disabilities so that they can inspire us, are worthy of our acceptance and appreciation. And while doing so, we suggest that we do not value people with disabilities who live ordinary lives. When you highlight a person with a disability, it's best to not make everyday elements of their lives, such as having a paying job, seem inspirational." Read more about this trope in our article How to Talk About Disability.
You can, however, center inclusivity, and include individuals with disabilities with other heroes. For example, Carson taught third grade and had her students do American hero projects, but was disappointed in the lack of disabled American heroes. “I really wanted it to be a diverse group of American heroes, and I realized that there were no disabled American heroes.” Carson herself wrote a children’s book about Ed Roberts, considered the “Father of Independent Living.”
Many adults, even parents with kids with disabilities, initially think that the best way to teach empathy for students with disabilities is for the audience themselves to experience a simulation of disability. For example, children putting on blindfolds to "see how it feels.” However, research indicates that rather than teaching empathy, simulations are more likely to engender pity and create confusion. They focus on what the individual can’t do. And at times, they can feel like the kids involved in the simulation are mocking people with disabilities. And because they are for a short period of time, there’s no chance for the learner to truly experience the disability. Simply put, simulations are not a true representation of the given reality of children with disabilities.
Carson explains how these simulation efforts wrongly place focus: “If I put a blindfold on a student, and they can't see anything with their eyes for one minute or two minutes or ten seconds or whatever, are they going to experience what it's like to be discriminated against as a blind person, are they going to experience what it's like to not have access to spaces, whether in person or online, by wearing that blindfold? What is the purpose of doing that? Because what is the outcome of doing that? If it's to say, ‘Wow, I didn't know it was so hard to be a blind person,’ how is that progressive? How is that going to be hopeful? Is that focusing on societal barriers, or is that focusing on somebody? It's focusing on how we perceive somebody else's existence, right? And someone who's born blind doesn't necessarily feel it the same way that you feel it in that ten seconds or one minute that you did it.“
A better approach would be to allow participants to experience an accommodation or assistive technology, so that they can see how effective supports can be in opening opportunities, and how necessary accommodations are for individuals with disabilities. Carson gives an example where students were presented with two sets of wheelchairs: a bulky medical wheelchair and a sports-model wheelchair. “I had the students try out both to see which one worked best for shooting hoops, so that they would not leave with the thought, ‘Oh, I'd hate to use a wheelchair,’ but, ‘Wow, what a difference the right technology makes in providing access for people.’”
While planning something about disability acceptance can be very empowering for some children, it can also be mortifying if they aren't ready to talk about their disability, or they are still grappling with what it means to them or their identity. “Just because two people have the same disability does not mean they will feel the same way about their disability or how their disability should be described,” the article “The Dos and don’ts for talking about students with disabilities” from NWEA explains.
As Carson explains, “We certainly shouldn't be going into classrooms and talking about a student, without their consent and participation. … We don't, on the first day of school, walk in, and say, ‘Look, everybody, we have this new student, and this new student is disabled,’ so it lets everybody be nice to them. That's not going to work, that's not dignifying, that's not respectful. And it's, you know, awkward. What is that teaching the students?”
Any lesson or training should be centered on the experience and the voice of someone with a disability, not the perspective of people who have not yet experienced disability. As parents we are used to advocating on our children’s behalf, but we need to be aware that we cannot always authentically be their voice. As much as possible, involve your child in the presentation, with whatever form of self-expression they have access to, but most importantly - with their consent. And if you are doing an assembly, invite speakers with lived experience of disability. These are the voices our kids need to hear.
As we explore how to approach planning school disability awareness, it’s important to remember to center positive perceptions of disability, instead of the challenges. Carson worries about disability awareness efforts that are focused on one student in a class: “I don't think we need to label kids. I don't think anybody's entitled to knowing somebody else's label if that person doesn't consent to it. I mean, it might be helpful at times, but in reality, kids will behave in a way that is modeled after the adults in their environment. They will either be gracious and kind and, you know, accepting and appreciative of each other's differences, or they won't.”
Carson recommends having a general conversation about needs: “Everybody has different needs. You know, ‘What are your needs, and how can we meet your needs?’ But this is only within a trusted community, learning community. “
A better approach for a parent, in Carson’s view, is to spend time in the classroom if possible (for example, volunteering) and model how people should treat your child. “Model our interaction with that student, how we do not talk about them, but we talk with them. We talk to them in a respectful, not a patronizing, way, how we presume competence and include them in decision making. That's the modeling that the other students need to see, both by the parents, the families, and the educators and administrators. That's what we need to be doing.“
Many Undivided parents have told us that they have found it impactful to visit their child’s classroom to discuss disability in general and their child’s challenges with their classmates in particular. Their own children were often excited by this attention and acknowledgement of their needs. While many parents also felt that their children were too young or challenged with communication to meaningfully consent to such an activity, they shared that they did experience a positive effect in terms of the other children’s acceptance of their child’s differences.
Carson agrees that it's not in all cases that it’s inappropriate for a parent to share with the class. Instead, by spending time in a class, perhaps using a book as a springboard for conversations, you are likely to have organic teachable moments. Its best not to make it only about one child but about all of us having needs, and that some of our needs are met in different ways. Carson goes on to say, “The caution comes in for parents who are not familiar with the prevalent conversations among disabled youth and adults who say that they felt ‘othered,’ objectified, and even exploited when their parents or teachers used them as an object to showcase a lesson or moral imperative. It is important that we do not do that. We are modeling how to treat people and honor their dignity.”
Do you want to host a disability acceptance day, event, or activity at your child’s school but are not sure where to start? Many Undivided parents have focused their efforts on disability awareness events, such as a celebratory month or day for a particular diagnosis — for example, World Down Syndrome Day or Autism Acceptance Month. There are also more general celebrations, such as Inclusive Schools Week, which usually coincides with International Day of People with Disabilities on December 3. Disability Pride Month and the anniversary of the American Disabilities Act fall in July, when schools are out. Other families have found that promoting acceptance can be as simple as reading an age-appropriate story about disability history or a person with a disability to the class, or as involved as organizing a disability-led assembly at school where people with disabilities can share or perform through music, dance, theater, etc. Remember, children are naturally curious and will probably have a ton of questions. Create a safe space for them to get involved, ask questions, and have conversations. As this teacher put it in an article in Chalkbeat, “Moving discussions about disability into the open helped my students embrace this part of their identities and support one another in the process.”
Here are some examples of activities we’ve sourced from Undivided families that you can try in your child’s school to promote empathy, understanding, and inclusivity acceptance. Remember, whether big or small, these activities can make a lasting impact and help foster a culture of acceptance throughout the school.
Host disability acceptance school events
Share books and media about disabilities
Share disability resources, quotes, and facts for all to see
Bring disability acceptance to school culture
Get involved with the greater school community
For more ideas on disability acceptance, check out these resources from Learning for Justice.
Whether you decide to focus on a day, a week, or a month, or spotlight a specific disability or disability acceptance as a whole, take the approach that feels right for you. There’s no need to put pressure on yourself — there are many ways to approach it. Start by thinking about what kind of impact you’d like to make. Would you prefer a simple classroom activity, like reading a story that highlights different abilities, or something bigger, like organizing a school-wide assembly or event? And if you want to talk about your child’s individual disability, can they give consent, be present and participate with you? Or would you prefer to get disabled voices in front of the kiddos? Don’t hesitate to connect with your child’s teacher, school staff, or PTA, to share your ideas and see how they can support you.
For more reading on the topic, head to our article How to Talk About Disability. You can also visit Carson's website to grab her free resource, "How to Talk About Disability with Kids" and her Beyond Disability Awareness Educator's Guide published by NPR, Inc.
Have you hosted a disability acceptance activity or event at your school? Reach out to us and let us know!
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