Article

IEP Meetings: Battling the “Intimidation Factor”

Published: Nov. 19, 2021Updated: Aug. 5, 2024

IEP meetings can be overwhelming and intimidating, but it’s important to remember that you are one of the most important people in the room. You may be meeting with “experts” in special education law and school curriculum, but you are always the expert on your child. You are a very necessary part of the IEP team, and any document that comes out of a meeting should reflect your contributions and insight.

Still, it can be difficult to advocate for your child to the best of your ability when you’re in such an intense environment. To help you prepare, special education attorney Grace Clark and special education advocate Dr. Sarah Pelangka offer the following expert tips.

What is the “intimidation factor”?

It is normal and expected to feel intimidated or uneasy at your child’s IEP meeting — but remember that you are a vital member of the IEP team.
Openly disagreeing with a room full of five or more professionals, all of whom work with your child, can understandably be difficult because of the presumption that the other people in this meeting are more knowledgeable about IEP processes and special education than you are. Plus, the school team leads the meeting and dictates its direction. But remember that you are the expert on your child.

How can you combat feelings of intimidation?

Before the IEP meeting:

Do something that calms you: Go for a run, meditate, repeat a positive mantra, etc.

At the meeting:

Keep in mind that this is about your child. Own the fact that you possess information about your child that the school does not, such as how your child is doing at home, whether your child has had trouble starting or finishing homework, or if your child is experiencing anxiety.
- It’s important that this information is considered and addressed in the IEP document, and you are the only one who can provide that knowledge!
- It bears repeating: Although they may be the “experts” in special education, you are always the expert on your child. Let that sink in and allow it to calm you.

Know your rights as the parent of a child with an IEP:
- If the district doesn’t ask if you’d like a summary of your rights when they hand you the Procedural Safeguards packet, then request a physical copy of your rights so that you can read them on your own. (The district may not adequately summarize your rights for you, so it is recommended that you read them yourself no matter what!)
- You don’t have to go to the IEP meeting alone! Parents have the option of bringing someone with them, and it doesn’t have to be an advocate or attorney. You can bring a friend, family member, partner, or any person who provides you with emotional support.
  - That being said, hiring an advocate is a helpful way to ensure that your child receives what they are entitled to.
- The school team types up the meeting notes, and unless parents request those notes be read aloud, the district perspective is what is documented and portrayed. You can also ask the person accompanying you to take notes.
  - By asking for the notes to be read aloud, you can request any changes you feel need to be made and have more influence on the direction of the meeting.

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Contents

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What is the “intimidation factor”?

How can you combat feelings of intimidation?

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