If our kids are at the back of the classroom learning something totally separate from the rest of their class, how will they be able to socialize and make friends? All students should have access to grade-level content so they can be educated with their peers. If students with IEPs are not at grade level, the curriculum can be modified to a different but related standard using the same subject matter. Core Content Connectors are tools that teachers can use to help teach the state standards with less complexity, so students who need modifications can work on the same content as their peers, even when they are still mastering basic skills.
Talk to your child’s teacher about what their peers are learning in class and how to pinpoint essential ideas that your child will benefit from. If you have a child in middle or high school, talk to the teacher about making sure modifications are age-appropriate and don’t alienate them from their peers, like avoiding worksheets that use cartoon characters or frilly fonts.
Similar to CCCs, Universal Design for Learning helps kids with extra support needs learn alongside their peers. Teachers who develop lesson plans with UDL in mind think about the different kinds of learners in their classroom — do some kids learn better visually or need auditory supports? — and plan for alternate ways that students can access the content or demonstrate what they’ve learned, so nobody feels left out.
Dr. Caitlin Solone says, “When we plan with all kids in mind, then every child thrives in a deeper way in a classroom because it opens up doors for not just our students who have more significant support needs but all kids who are struggling with learning or struggling with engagement or struggling to be a part of their classroom community. So it really does open up the doors for everybody in a class when we can really start to plan with the students with the most significant support needs in mind.”
If you want to support your child’s teacher(s) in incorporating UDL, you can request teacher training in your child’s IEP.
Your child’s IEP can’t dictate the education of other kids at school, but you can write in opportunities for peer support. For example, if your sixth grader needs help transitioning between classes, you could request a peer volunteer who has the same next class to walk with them instead of a 1:1 aide, creating opportunities to socialize along the way.
Dr. Mary Falvey reminds us, “It’s important that if there are AAC systems involved that you have them out of the backpack, so the child can communicate because they have their AAC in front of them to communicate with their peer.” Peer training on AAC can even be included in the IEP, as Dr. Sarah Pelangka explains:
Finding kids with shared interests is one of the best ways to foster friendship. Help your child look for clubs that overlap with their interest areas, such as sports, choir, drama, cooking, or the school newspaper. If the school doesn’t offer anything your child is interested in, consider starting a lunchtime club. Most clubs are sponsored by a teacher, so you can talk with your child’s teacher or another staff member about creating meaningful social opportunities. Find more information about lunch clubs in our article Socialization and Inclusion: Nurturing Authentic Peer Relationships.
The school should provide your child’s IEP supports during extracurricular activities if they are necessary for your child to participate, such as a 1:1 aide or visual supports. If your child needs to audition or try out first, the school should provide access to reasonable accommodations during the audition process too so that your child has the same opportunities as their peers.
Dr. Falvey says two main things are needed for kids to make friends: close proximity and frequent opportunities to socialize. When kids with disabilities attend their local public school, their classmates are often kids from their own neighborhoods. Outside of the school day, kids can recognize familiar faces and have an easier time connecting at the local playground or at community groups like scouts and sports leagues.
Many of these socialization supports can be written into the IEP, which makes it easier to hold the school accountable for providing them. If you have other ideas for helping our kids make friends at school, we’d love to hear them!
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