In this second installment of our Functional Life Skills series, we’re focusing on helping our kids gain independence with their morning rituals: all the little tasks we need to do to be healthy and prepared to face our day. (If you missed them, here are parts one and three).
As we know, learning the nitty-gritty functional life skills that guide us toward true independence is no small feat, so we’ve reached out to a special education teacher and an occupational therapist to talk through the best strategies to support our kids. Because let’s face it — these skills are hard for a reason.
Sarah Cacciato, a special education teacher and educational therapist at L&S Special Education Consulting and Services, puts it this way: “Teaching hygiene can be difficult because it’s not very motivating and doesn’t seem particularly fun (for anyone).” So on that note, let’s dive in!
If, like some of us, you’ve been working on mastering the same task in different ways for several years, that’s okay! There’s always another way in!
1. Read Social Stories
Cacciato says that Social Stories can help kids understand why hygiene is important in a relatable way. (There are also plenty of online resources on hygiene for tweens and teens, such as this one that uses humor to talk about body odor.) Autism Little Learners has several social stories for younger kids, such as this packet on washing hands. And even if social stories aren’t your kid’s thing, the “why” is a great place to start.
2. Break tasks down into small steps
Teach only one skill at a time, and tackle it as you would an academic skill: focus on one step at a time and practice it piece by piece. When your child masters one part of the skill, celebrate; then gradually add more parts. Steps to Independence (Teaching Everyday Skills to Children with Special Needs), a book by Bruce L. Baker and Alan J. Brightman, does an excellent job of breaking down household chores and explaining how to teach them.
3. Use visual reminders
Task strips can be very helpful in illustrating how to break each life skill down into explicit parts, Cacciato explains. It’s also great if you can make it engaging!
Make your own task strip showing images of the child’s actual items and/or photos of them completing each step.
Use engaging items when practicing: buy a fun hair brush or toothbrush and their own special shampoo or toothpaste.
Incorporate small rewards or reinforcers when your child is successful at each step, and larger rewards after all steps are completed.
1. Desensitize
Before you work on something challenging, start by doing a little prep to wake up their body: have your child squeeze their arms from their shoulders to their hands and rub their fingers together, or facilitate proprioceptive input by wrapping them in a blanket, rolling around on the floor, or cuddling — whatever they need to get some tactile input.
2. Make it fun and do things together
Strengthening the fine motor skills we need for daily hygiene happens throughout the day, Smith says. “Holding a spoon to stir a thick cake batter works on literally every fine motor skill an OT would teach, including finger grasp and pronation and supination of the wrist. Not to mention working on math!”
3. Drink water
Seriously! Smith tells us that she begins many of her sessions by having kids do just that. “They have to hold a cup with one hand, and bring a water bottle to the cup with the other hand. Can they open the bottle and bring their hands together again to tip the bottle and pour the water in? Can they put their lips to the cup and sip and have a lip seal? Or can they start by clapping the bottle against their other hand? Sometimes just holding the bottle is enough — merely bringing both hands to midline creates neuroconnections.”
4. Practice
You can work on the functional aspect of brushing in a few different ways, Smith says:
5. Play dress-up
Smith tells us that when she’s working on toileting skills with clients, she doesn’t do the work in the bathroom. Start by using something your child might have fun playing with: a grass skirt or a silly pair of pants. Put it on over their clothes and work on pulling up and down the outer garment.
6. Scale it down
“Remember that things are stressful now,” Smith says. “They’re stressed and they’re seeing us stressed — so take ten minutes and have them work on only one thing. Put the shoe in their lap and have them pick it up and hold it. That’s one step. If they’re able to hold it with one hand and put it on their foot, that’s a whole other skill.”
7. Keep trying
“Many of us have been in therapy with our kids since basically birth,” Smith says, “so chances are we’ve tried something before. Remember that you can revisit something that didn’t work before and trial it again. The sensory system changes; when you go through growth spurts, it changes — so it might be different this time.”
As we all know by now, the best wisdom usually comes from other parents. Check out the Just a Different Life YouTube channel, which was created by a very large adoptive family whose parents homeschool and share videos showing how they teach everything from seizure modeling to — you guessed it — teaching functional life skills.
This vlog on using adaptive equipment to get ready for the day is a great example of why sometimes all you need is a better tool.
So go ahead: share your wisdom and tell us what’s working for you and your kid! We’d love to know.
