What if the school says my child is being non-compliant?

As a parent of a child with a disability, chances are that you’ve heard the term “non-compliant.” Compliance simply means that we follow a rule or do what someone tells us to do. While it’s helpful for a child to learn to follow directions, participate with peers, keep to the schedule, follow classroom rules, etc., it doesn’t always look the same for kids with disabilities as it does for typical children. In fact, it can sometimes cross the line of being dangerous if a child is being conditioned to comply and listen no matter what while ignoring their own instincts and feelings. Over time, it can create a sense of low self-worth or a lack of skills or language to keep themselves safe.

Self-advocacy plays an important part here, especially if a child is refusing a task or not complying because they are trying to advocate for a need, like a break or a drink of water, or expressing preferences. “Non-compliance” can also simply mean that a child doesn’t know what the expectations are for a certain activity or event, or that the expectations or the plan were changed suddenly without their knowledge.

So the question is: what does that child need? Then, these needs can be explored and addressed through a behavioral assessment, sensory plan, IEP goals, and a behavior plan that actually helps the child feel more in control, self-expressed, and capable.

If the school has concerns with your child's “non-compliance”, you can ask for a Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) to take a deeper look at your child's behavior. The results will be shared with your IEP team so that you can update the IEP to add more support for your child to work on the skills they need to be safe and successful at school.

For more information, see our full article Behavior 101.