What should I do when my child refuses to go to school?

When a child is struggling with school refusal — also known as school phobia, school avoidance, school anxiety, or school aversion — parents often wish they could connect with other parents going through the same thing. Whether it’s to share what works and what doesn’t, or to feel the support of someone who truly understands, it can feel overwhelming and difficult to know where to start. A few things parents can do:

• Do initiate open and honest conversations with your child (if possible) to uncover their feelings about school, such as what about school upsets them the most, whether a time of day seems to be harder for them, if they’re being bullied, or how they feel about school in general this year compared to last year.
• Do look for subtle cues such as changes in behavior patterns, unusual clinginess, or somatic complaints like stomach aches or headaches, especially if your child is nonspeaking.
• Do validate your child’s feelings by showing empathy and creating a safe space for them to share without feeling judged.

Find more do's and don'ts in our article Do's and Don'ts When Your Child Refuses to Go to School.