Undivided Resources
Article

8 Ways to Respond to Your IEP Team When You Disagree about Placement and Inclusion


Published: Mar. 11, 2025Updated: Mar. 11, 2025

Featured image
We’re continuing our series about the frustrating, misleading, or outright incorrect statements commonly heard in IEP meetings — and how you can respond! With the help of non-attorney education advocate Lisa Carey, we’ve come up with simple but effective ways to help you advocate for what your child needs at school, especially when it comes to placement and inclusion with their peers. (As Carey recommends, the responses are mostly questions! Here’s why.)

1. They say: “Your child is not at grade level. They can't keep up in a gen ed classroom.”

You say: “It's okay if they don't keep up. They should be doing similar or the same things as their peers, just at a modified level if needed.”

The school might try to say that your child can’t be in gen ed if they have modified work, but this simply isn’t true. Schools may not want to admit that they don’t have the staff, the time, or the willingness to learn how to do modifications, but the need to modify is not enough to warrant removing a child from general education. You can ask, “Who's going to be responsible for providing the modifications so that my child can continue to learn with their peers?”

2. They say: “Your child needs a small group setting to work on this skill.”

You say: “Don't you utilize small groups in your classrooms? Could we try it in the general ed setting and collect data to see if my child is generalizing the skill?”

3. They say: “Your child needs specialized instruction in a special education setting to work on this goal.”

You say: “Aren't all services supposed to be portable? Have you been trained in embedded instruction?” Unfortunately, districts and schools sometimes base placement on what works best for them, and not necessarily what's best for the child.

4. They say: “You can only tour and see placements that are offered to you. You can't view the placement until after the IEP is signed.”

You say: “Aren't parents equal members of the IEP team? How can I meaningfully participate without having the same information as the rest of the team?”

If the school says it's a HIPAA violation for you to tour a placement, you can point out that HIPAA only applies to medical facilities. If there are other privacy concerns, then the school can let the teacher know for those few minutes you’re present to not say children's full names or otherwise avoid identifying information. If the school still refuses your request for tours, ask them to please put that in the IEP notes the reason why you can't be a fully participating member of the team.

5. They say: “It would be disruptive to other children if we provide instruction to your child in the gen ed classroom.”

You say: “What if you use universal design for learning in your classroom so that all children had access to alternative ways to learn?”

You might also point out that typical gen ed classrooms are loud; a kid being loud typically doesn't disrupt other kids or having behaviors because those classrooms are already loud to begin with. Be sure to check out our article 5 Biggest Myths About Inclusion to hear an expert refute common reasons to deny gen ed placement.

6. They say: “We aren't trained for that here.”

You say: “What training do you need? Let's write it into the IEP.”

It’s a lesser-known support, but training for school staff so they can assist a child is actually something that can be written into an IEP!

7. They say: “A special day class is less restrictive than a gen ed class with a 1:1 aide, so we need to place your child in the special day class.”

You say: “A 1:1 aide is a support, not a placement.”

Carey notes that the word “restrictive” when we're talking about the least restrictive environment (LRE) applies to placement, not support; a 1:1 aide is a support, not a placement. Used appropriately, an aide should be no more or less different than providing fidgets from an OT, or an AAC device, or whatever else is needed.

8. They say, “Placement is based on goals and services. Your child has 20 goals, so they need to be in a specialized environment.”

You say, “Why are you suggesting a more restrictive placement when my child is able to access general education?”

The least restrictive environment is the general education classroom your child would otherwise attend. It's not affected by the number of goals but whether your child is going to be able to make progress towards those goals. That's the question: Will your child make progress in that setting? What supports do they need to make progress in that setting?

Carey says that most of the time, the school might not even know what they’re saying is incorrect. “I think that they believe what they're saying. I think that it's the product of saying the same thing, for years and years and years or just never being challenged on some of it. I think there might be cases where they're intentionally trying to mislead parents with the hope they'll drop it and go away. But I think for the most part, it's not malicious. It's not intentional.”

Whatever the intentions might be, it doesn't make it any less frustrating for parents, so we’re here to help you feel empowered by knowing how to respond.

The Undivided platform is here to help you prepare to be an empowered and confident advocate in your child’s IEP meetings. You’ll get customized resources, step-by-step walkthroughs, and Q&A time with experts in special education. Plus, if you ever need 1:1 help, experienced Undivided Navigators and Education Advocates are just a click away. Get started today→

Blue asterisk
Liney circle
Join for free

Save your favorite resources and access a custom Roadmap.

Get Started
Tags:

Author

Brittany OlsenUndivided Content Editor

Reviewed by: Lindsay Crain, Undivided Head of Content and Community

Contributor: Lisa M. Carey, Undivided Non-Attorney Education Advocate


Promise Image
Each piece of content has been rigorously researched, edited, and vetted to bring you the latest and most up-to-date information. Learn more about our content and research process here.
A Navigator is your Partner at each turn
Every Undivided Navigator has years of experience supporting families raising kids with disabilities or parenting their own. Partner with an Undivided Navigator for a free Kickstart to learn first hand what support feels like!
tick-icon
Expert-driven content, guidance, and solutions.
tick-icon
Member events and office hours with real answers, plus access to our private parents' group.
tick-icon
Priority to begin a free Kickstart of the Undivided Support System with a dedicated Navigator.
“It’s so helpful to have one place that you can go to get many answers.”–Leeza Woodbury, with Navigator Kelly since 2020
*Currently offering Navigator Kickstarts to residents of California
Beta
Andy AI Search Icon