Supporting Children with OCD at Home, School, and the Community

Supporting a child with OCD takes a team effort — and that team extends well beyond the therapist's office. How a child is supported at home, understood by their teachers, and included in their community can make a meaningful difference in how well they manage their symptoms and build confidence day to day.

For more information on what OCD can look like in the classroom, and how families, educators, and community members can work together to create environments where children with OCD feel safe, supported, and set up to thrive, we spoke to Ogechi “Cynthia” Onyeka, PhD, assistant professor in Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Baylor College of Medicine; Madelaine Davidson, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist at The Center for Anxiety and OCD; Sarah Pelangka, PhD, BCBA-D, special education advocate and creator of KnowIEPS; and Harper Word, a college student at the University of Missouri who also has OCD.

Dr. Onyeka explains that some of the most difficult parts of OCD for children are not just the behaviors themselves, but the emotional burdens that come with them, especially guilt and shame. She notes that OCD is unique because of the nature of the thoughts themselves: “One of the things that makes OCD very unique is that these thoughts are thoughts that the person doesn’t want to have. Another fancy way of saying that is that they’re ego-dystonic: they’re not in line with how we see ourselves, our values, the things that we like.”

Because the thoughts feel so out of line with who the child is, kids often become very distressed by them. Even when they know they would never act on the thoughts, the presence of the thoughts alone can lead to intense guilt and shame. Dr. Onyeka emphasizes that this is a core part of OCD — children are often reacting to thoughts they find upsetting, not ones they agree with or want. For example, a child might have thoughts about hurting somebody, even though they would never hurt someone.

Dr. Onyeka also highlights how OCD can affect a child’s relationships and social world. As symptoms begin to interfere with daily life, some children may become more withdrawn or struggle in peer relationships. Some may even experience bullying. When it comes to supporting children who are struggling with peers or being bullied, she stresses the importance of creating a safe, shame-free environment where kids can talk about what they’re experiencing. Having trusted adults who can listen without judgment helps reduce isolation and allows children to feel understood rather than afraid of their thoughts. She also emphasizes helping children with assertiveness skills, “to be able to not engage with the bully and talk to an adult when it happens.” She also points to how OCD can impact friendships and relationships, especially when reassurance-seeking or fear of uncertainty becomes part of the cycle. In these cases, treatment often focuses on helping children gradually build tolerance for discomfort rather than avoiding it.

“With concerns regarding relationship OCD, I’m definitely a huge advocate of exposure — exposures that the parent can help direct or the family can work on with their therapist. Designing these exposures to be focused on just being able to be exposed to the idea that someone is not going to text you back, or texting the friend and just tolerating that anxiety without texting the friend multiple times to check in, or seeking reassurance. Approaching those situations that cause anxiety with respect to relationships, as opposed to avoiding them — that would be the main way to address that.”

Word tells us that friendships and social relationships are something she has had to learn to navigate over time, especially as she has grown in her understanding of her OCD. She explains that when she was younger, she often felt compelled to disclose her OCD to others, but in a way that felt more like an apology than a neutral explanation. “I think when I was younger, I felt compelled to tell people that I had OCD, and I don’t really feel like that anymore, because it felt like when I would tell people that I had OCD, I was apologizing for it . . . or doing it as a courtesy to other people,” she shares.

Over time, she says her perspective has shifted. Instead of feeling the need to justify or apologize for her OCD, she now sees it as something she manages rather than something that defines how others should perceive her. “I don’t feel the need to apologize for a part of my brain that I can’t control anymore,” she says. Word adds that the people closest to her understand her experience and are supportive, and while she still may need a bit more time to process things at times, she no longer feels pressure to explain or defend her diagnosis in relationships.

Anxiety and OCD can have a big impact at school. They can affect a student’s behavior in the classroom, their ability to learn, and how they connect with peers. It’s very normal for students to feel nervous before things like tests or presentations, and that feeling usually goes away afterward, but when it gets in the way of functioning, it’s important to seek some help.

Word shares that school was a difficult environment for her growing up, especially as she was navigating a combination of ADHD, Tourette syndrome, and OCD at the same time. She describes feeling like all of these factors were working against her and making it harder to stay focused and regulated in the classroom.

She shares that she often found herself distracted by intrusive thoughts and worst case–scenario thinking, which made it difficult to feel present in class or fully engaged in academic situations. Over time, this led to frustration, both internally and in how she was perceived by others.

She also reflects on how these struggles can sometimes be misunderstood from the outside. “I think a lot of teachers can write that off as laziness or a lack of a want to participate, and I don’t think that’s it at all. I just think it’s you’re struggling to figure out how to express yourself and what’s the right thing to say,” she says.

Struggling with OCD can be very hard on children. They might be misdiagnosed and unable to ask for the help they really need. Word shares that OCD often shows up as intrusive thoughts and what-if scenarios that can quickly pull her attention away from what she’s trying to focus on. She describes her mind as constantly moving, which can become exhausting when a thought appears during an otherwise normal moment and then won’t go away.

She explains that these thoughts can feel repetitive and sticky, almost like they keep cycling back no matter how hard she tries to move on. “It’s a lot like being on a carousel. And once you recognize that there’s a thought that’s coming back around, you notice it every single time, and that can be really difficult because it’s hard to focus on other things that you need to get done. I think it can hinder learning and trying to stay focused in class. That impacts your ability to get work done and pay attention and give what you’re supposed to be doing 100% when you’re so focused on things that could be happening elsewhere,” she says.

Here are the kinds of obsessive behaviors you might see in kids with OCD at school, grouped into clearer categories:

• Frequent bathroom use, nurse visits, and physical complaints: a child may be going to the bathroom frequently due to fears of germs, the need to wash hands, or a desire to avoid contamination. Some children avoid the bathroom altogether for the same reasons. You may also see frequent visits to the nurse, along with recurring complaints of headaches or stomachaches, especially during periods of high anxiety or when resisting compulsions.
• Cleanliness: some children may feel a strong need to keep their desk, locker, or personal space clean, safe, or perfectly arranged, and may become distressed if others touch or move their items.
• Reassurance-seeking and repeated questioning: this can look like asking the teacher the same questions over and over (“Are you sure?” “Did I get it right?” “Can you say that again?”). These repeated requests are driven by a need for certainty and can happen throughout the school day. It can also include social reassurance, such as frequently checking with friends to make sure the friends still like them, the friends aren’t upset, or nothing the person said or did “ruined” the relationship.
• Perfectionism, writing rituals, and task completion difficulties: children may erase and rewrite work repeatedly, sometimes until the eraser is worn down or the paper is damaged. They may need assignments to feel perfect before they can move on, which can make it difficult to finish work or transition to the next task. They may also get stuck and struggle to shift from one activity to another.
• Checking: this can include constantly rechecking backpacks, binders, or assignments to make sure nothing is missing, even immediately after checking. Other times, children may feel a strong urge to check doors, windows, or other items, especially if they’re worried that something bad could happen at school if they don’t.
• Counting, repetition, and number-related rules: some students may read words, sentences, or pages a specific number of times or repeat actions until they feel just right. Others may avoid certain numbers they see as unsafe or unlucky, and only use numbers they consider safe.
• Avoidance behaviors and participation refusal: a child may refuse to participate in certain classroom activities, playground games, or sports due to fears of contamination, harm, or breaking internal rules. This can also include avoiding shared items such as doorknobs, desks, keyboards, cafeteria trays, or school supplies, or avoiding contact play altogether due to fears of germs or contaminating others.
• Rigid routines and placement rules: some children feel they must always sit in the same seat at school or lunch and may become very distressed if their routine or placement is changed.
• Tapping and symmetry compulsions: if a child accidentally kicks another student’s chair with one foot, they may feel compelled to balance it out by doing the same with the other foot. These behaviors can look like oppositional behavior or excess energy, but they are actually OCD-related compulsions.

Find more examples in this article from the Anxiety & Depression Association of America.

Could a child with OCD be eligible for an IEP or a 504 plan? The answer is yes, Dr. Pelangka says, if “the OCD is significant enough that it impacts access to education.” She adds that depending on the severity, a child “could qualify for either an IEP or 504 plan. For an IEP, eligibility would likely be Other Health Impairment (OHI) due to anxiety, but it could also potentially fall under Emotional Disability (ED), depending on severity.”

Dr. Onyeka explains a bit more about how OCD can affect children at school and in the classroom, and how parents, teachers, and IEP teams can work together to support students with OCD. After the video clip, we dive more deeply into each category of support.

IEP supports and services

Students with OCD often benefit from a combination of counseling and school-based supports that help them manage compulsions and obsessions that are impacting access to learning. Dr. Pelangka tells us that school counseling can be especially helpful for working on coping strategies, reducing compulsive behaviors that impact access to instruction, and building skills to tolerate anxiety over time.

In some cases and depending on what’s available locally, additional supports such as wraparound services — which are personalized, team-based, family centered, holistic approaches to mental health or behavioral challenges — or Collaborative Educational Services (COEDS) — which are programs that provide services to the child and family in the home and/or community setting — may also be helpful to support the child and family more broadly. Supports may also take the form of individualized goals focused on managing compulsive behaviors seen in school and reducing anxiety. This can include accommodations to support compulsive behaviors, such as “ensuring staff are aware and permit certain compulsions to occur,” as well as supports for ritualistic behaviors, compulsion breaks, and extended time “to allow for ritualistic behaviors if need be.”

She also highlights that reducing academic pressure can be helpful, including reducing work to show mastery of standards “to help minimize pressure/anxiety,” and providing access to a trusted adult on campus. Word shares that things began to shift when she started working with a therapist and her parents, which helped her reframe her experience. Instead of seeing herself as “abnormal,” she began to understand that her brain simply works differently and that she may need additional support or grace compared to other students.

“I realized, ‘Hey, I’m not abnormal. I’m not acting out of the ordinary. This is just how my brain works, and I need just a little bit more grace than the average student,” Word explains. She adds that giving herself that understanding helped reduce self-criticism and made school feel more manageable over time.

Ultimately, Dr. Pelangka emphasizes that supports should be highly individualized ”in consideration of specific obsession and compulsion exhibited by the student.”

IEP accommodations

Dr. Onyeka explains that the word “accommodation” can mean different things depending on the context, especially when comparing general IEP supports to anxiety and OCD treatment.

She notes that in learning disabilities or ADHD, accommodations are often necessary and helpful when appropriately implemented. However, in OCD and anxiety, some accommodations can unintentionally reinforce the anxiety cycle. As she explains, “In the context of anxiety and OCD, the accommodation, by way of the teacher, that inadvertently supports the anxiety isn’t something that we want.”

Instead, she emphasizes that the goal is to find ways to support the student while still addressing the anxiety itself. This may involve collaboration with school staff and counselors to build in structured opportunities for exposure, so the student can gradually learn to tolerate anxiety in a supported way rather than avoid it.

Davidson agrees, telling us that supporting students with OCD in school can be complex, especially when other conditions like ADHD or autism are also present. Because of this, she stresses the importance of teamwork across providers, families, and schools. As she explains, it’s especially important that specialists communicate with each other and with school staff so everyone understands what’s driving the student’s needs. As a therapist, she suggests that everyone on the team see the child’s IEP and talk to the teacher and inform what’s happening with their OCD lens.

She notes that in many cases of OCD, she rarely suggests the use of accommodations: “The reason I say that I would very rarely suggest an accommodation at school for something that is purely OCD is because when we are accommodating, a lot of times what ends up happening is it becomes harmful for our OCD treatment because we are providing an aid to escape discomfort,” she explains. Of course, if there is co-occurring ADHD or autism, for example, informing that looks a little bit different. For example, supports like testing in a separate room may be appropriate for ADHD- or autism-related needs, but if the driver is OCD fears (like avoiding a room because it feels bad, or that the walls have an unlucky color), the goal may instead be to support the student in tolerating that discomfort in the classroom setting.

She also highlights the importance of understanding the why behind each accommodation. Some supports can unintentionally turn into new compulsions or avoidance strategies, which can keep OCD cycles going. “Looking at an IEP and figuring out the why behind things is going to be really important for OCD specialists,” she adds.

She compares this with some other anxiety-related disorders. For example, with body-focused, repetitive behavior, like hair-pulling, an accommodation can look like a habit blocker, such as the child wearing a hat in the class so they’re not distracted by pulling the hairs out of their head. That’s not the same for OCD because “we don’t want to give a replacement behavior because that can end up just turning into the compulsion. For example, if I’m supposed to use a pen but I use a pencil because I’m a perfectionist and I need to be able to erase, I’m going to challenge you to use that pen because the pencil isn’t going to ease our perfectionism. It isn’t going to ease that discomfort, or what that symptom looks like. So that’s not going to be a useful accommodation for OCD,” she explains.

That said, Davidson is clear that this doesn’t mean students with OCD should never receive accommodations. Instead, she emphasizes that the key question is always why a support is being used and whether it is helping the student move toward greater independence and tolerance of discomfort.

Sensory supports

Davidson explains that sensory tools can sometimes be helpful supports for students with OCD, but they need to be used thoughtfully and always in collaboration with the school team and teachers. She emphasizes the importance of staying in communication with teachers, noting, “I’m very aware when I’m working with a child that I’m not in the classroom with them, so I can give these recommendations, and I’m always happy to have a conversation with the teacher . . . to really implement this in a way that’s going to work.”

Sensory support is a great strategy for redirection for kids with OCD, but only if it doesn’t become its own compulsion (anything they do to escape the anxiety caused by the obsession). As she explains it, “I like to use it as a metaphor: the obsession can be in the room with us, but it’s not the thing that we’re looking at, and that’s the delicate balance that we’re trying to do.”

In practice, this might look like drinking cold water, chewing very minty gum, pulling a sticky Velcro sticker under the desk, smelling an essential oil — anything that will engage their five senses and help the child redirect rather than avoid the anxiety caused by the obsession. So any time an obsessive thought comes up, instead of obsessing on it for an hour, can they play with their sequin key chain for a bit? As Davidson explains, “The hope is for that not to be distracting or pulling them away from class, but to serve as a vehicle for them to participate more fully.”

Occupational therapists can also work with students on this (if they’re trained and have the background and experience in supporting the OCD population) by helping with emotional awareness and regulation, executive functioning supports (i.e., time management, routine building), and sensory integration support.

Assistive technology

Can assistive technology help? Dr. Pelangka explains that assistive technology can be helpful when it supports access and helps reduce anxiety-related barriers to learning. She notes that when a student is in a highly anxious state, “their ability to problem solve, execute, and react [is] impaired,” so reducing stress in the moment can make it easier for them to stay engaged in school. She emphasizes that tools are most helpful when they support access and minimize stress rather than reinforce compulsions. Examples may include recording lectures so students can review missed information if intrusive thoughts interfere with attention, allowing access to speech-to-text tools for written work, and using digital organizers to help with managing assignments. Behavior plans What do parents need to be aware of if the IEP team is creating a behavior plan for a child with OCD? When it comes to behavior intervention plans (BIPs) for students with OCD, Dr. Pelangka emphasizes that this is not usually the first or best line of support. Instead, she recommends counseling.

Because OCD is an anxiety-based condition, she cautions against treating it as simply a problem behavior to be managed through a traditional behavior intervention plan. “If an IEP team implements a BIP for some reason, the treating therapists/counselor should be very heavily involved, as OCD is an anxiety disorder, it is not maladaptive behavior to be treated by way of a behavior intervention plan. Steps for treating and supporting are very specific, and a therapist who has experience in OCD (which is mandatory and necessary) should oversee the treatment plan for the student,” she says.

She adds that if the school-based provider is not familiar with OCD, the team should bring in someone who is. “If the therapist/counselor assigned to the site is not familiar in working with OCD, the site needs to find a therapist who is,” she explains.

Health plans

When it comes to health plans, Dr. Pelangka tells us that a child could have one if they require medication administration at school, such as for anxiety, or if they experience panic attacks or any other somatic symptoms (symptoms related to the body) that require oversight by a health tech/nurse.

IEP goals

Dr. Pelangka explains that IEP goals for students with OCD are typically tied to reducing the ways anxiety and compulsions interfere with school participation, rather than treating OCD as a behavior issue. She notes that goals may focus on things like improving class attendance and reducing tardiness when OCD-related rituals get in the way of getting to class on time. As she explains, “Generally speaking, goals may target increased attendance in class [and] reduction in tardiness (due to engaging in ritualistic behaviors) as a result of participation in counseling services.” Other goals often include building skills to manage anxiety and supporting the student in gradually reducing or delaying compulsive behaviors during the school day.

OCD is very bossy — it likes to call all the shots and convince kids that it’s in charge. While there’s no one perfect way to support our kiddos, small, consistent shifts in how we respond at home can make a meaningful difference over time. One of the biggest goals is helping kids realize that they are in charge, not their OCD (even when they’ve named it something like Doug). It can start to feel like OCD is running the show, and all we want to do as parents is reassure our kids, but treatment is really about gently shifting that balance so kids aren’t just being bossed around by their anxiety or OCD anymore.

Stop reassuring them

Excessive reassurance-seeking is a common OCD compulsion. Dr. Onyeka explains that when supporting a child with OCD, parents want to be careful not to slip into providing reassurance, which can unintentionally strengthen the cycle of anxiety. Instead of repeatedly trying to prove that nothing bad will happen, the goal is to support the child while still helping them face the uncertainty OCD is creating.

She describes an approach used in SPACE called support statements. These statements validate what the child is feeling without reinforcing the OCD fears. For example, a parent might say, “I know this is really hard for you. I know how tough this is, but I know you can handle it, and I know you do a great job in handling this feeling. I’ve seen you do this before, and you’ve been able to handle it, so you can do it again.”

This balance is important: it communicates empathy and emotional support without feeding the need for reassurance. The goal is to help children feel understood while still encouraging them to move toward what OCD is telling them to avoid, building long-term resilience over time.

In this clip, Davidson explains why reassurance-seeking is one of the most common — and hardest — compulsions for families dealing with OCD, and how parents can support and validate their child’s anxiety without accidentally feeding the OCD cycle.

Word shares that one of the most helpful things her parents did was support her in staying accountable around reassurance-seeking, especially during moments when OCD was driving repetitive questions or worries. She explains that she would often ask her parents for certainty about future events, such as whether they were planning to leave the house or drive somewhere. “I would ask my parents, ‘Hey, are you planning on going anywhere? Are you planning on driving anytime soon?’ I had a lot of anxiety around driving when I was younger,” she shares.

What helped, she says, was when her parents learned to gently pause and help her recognize when OCD was driving the question. “They’ve gotten really good at being able to point out, are you asking me that or is OCD asking me that?” she explains. She describes how this helped her step back, take a breath, and tolerate uncertainty instead of seeking immediate reassurance. “It makes me step back and take a breath and say, ‘I don’t need to know this right now. Nothing is set in stone right now, and that’s okay,’” she says.

Practice role-playing

Dr. Onyeka explains that some OCD fears show up in everyday situations, like ordering at a restaurant. For example, a child might worry, “I might order wrong, and I don’t want to get it wrong. I always want to be right.” Or, “OCD wants me to always be right, and if I order on my own, I can order it wrong. So mom has to order for me.” In those cases, OCD is often tied to a strong need to be certain or to be perfect.

She notes that role-playing can be a really helpful way to gently build independence. “I love role-playing. We do it all the time in treatment,” she shares. It gives kids a chance to practice skills in a lower-pressure setting before trying them in real life.

In therapy, this can be included in the fear hierarchy: the child might start small, like practicing ordering with a parent first, then with a therapist, and eventually in more challenging settings, like with another therapist they don’t know. Then eventually, at the restaurant. “It could help build you up to doing the things that OCD says are really scary,” she explains.

Practice exposure in small steps

When OCD starts to become more disruptive — like a child refusing to go to a friend’s house because of germ fears or struggling to stop nighttime rituals — parents often find themselves stuck between two worries: not wanting to force the child, but also not wanting OCD to take over daily life.

Dr. Onyeka explains that the goal in these situations is not to push kids all at once, but to use small, gradual steps that slowly reduce the power of OCD. “Definitely smaller steps,” she says, emphasizing that treatment works by carefully approaching the fear instead of avoiding it.

“Let’s say a ritual is usually a set amount of time — like the ritual takes an hour — maybe cutting it down to 55 minutes, or 40 minutes. Baby steps to get to the point where you’re just continuing to reduce it while also exposing them to the situation,” she says. The exposure happens in the same situation where OCD shows up, but the response to it is gradually changed.

In some cases, it may also help to start practicing during easier parts of the day. If OCD is strongest at night, a child might first work on exposures earlier in the day when anxiety is lower, while still practicing reducing rituals. Over time, these smaller steps build up to handling the more difficult moments and will gradually reduce the amount of time that they’re engaging in the compulsion.

Use what they love as motivation

Davidson emphasizes that resilience is a central part of OCD treatment, and really, any mental health support. Helping children build confidence that they can do hard things is a key protective factor, especially when treatment involves facing discomfort through exposure work.

“Resilience is always going to be huge. For anything mental health that we’re working through, we want to build up resilience,” she explains. She notes that this can come from everyday experiences like creative activities, sports, extracurricular activities, and other interests and passions that help kids practice perseverance and self-confidence.

“Sitting with discomfort is really, really difficult,” she says. “We know as clinicians that what we are asking your child to do doesn’t always feel fun. It feels hard. Right when we are having an obsession, the part of our brain that is firing is that fight-or-flight. It feels like a very real fear right in front of us, happening. And we know that what we’re asking you to do when we do an exposure is extremely difficult. It goes against every fiber of our body that’s saying, run, hide, fight back, don’t do this, freeze up. So we know what we’re asking kids to do. And what we’re sending parents home with, this homework, is very, very difficult.”

That’s where these interests, passions, and meaningful activities can come in as an important source of motivation for children during OCD treatment. Davidson explains that OCD often gradually narrows a child’s world over time: “One of the saddest things to see with OCD, especially in kids, is that one of the goals of OCD is to make our lives smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller because our brain registers that as safer and safer and safer.”

What may begin as small disruptions to daily routines can slowly expand and start affecting more areas of life. For example, a child might initially spend extra time on compulsions that delay bedtime, but over time this can grow into avoiding social plans, extracurricular activities, or other experiences that feel too difficult to manage alongside OCD. As the disorder takes up more space, it can limit a child’s relationships, confidence, and opportunities. Staying connected to hobbies, friendships, and activities they care about helps counter this pattern and supports motivation to engage in the hard work of treatment.

“It’s going to slowly eat away at all the other things that we love,” she explains. “So when we have things that we love, it’s actually going to motivate us to continue to do really hard work because we love that thing. And that’s the buy-in. Typically, kids that do have a lot of passions or a lot of things that they love are going to be more motivated to do the work because they want to get back into those things that they love, and they recognize, ‘My life was so much better and fuller, and my relationships were better and my friendships were better when I didn’t have to do all these things.’ So having these external things that bring us joy is going to motivate us to do the really, really hard work, and that’s why we’re always going to encourage them.”

Model uncertainty and flexible thinking out loud

Parents can play an important role in helping children with OCD by modeling how to handle uncertainty and anxious thoughts in real time. Davidson explains that this kind of modeling can reduce shame and help kids understand that they are not alone in their experience.

“We’ll hear kids say, ‘I just want this to go away,’” she explains. “Modeling is super important. One of the big misconceptions for kids is like, ‘I’m scared of this thing, and nobody else is,’ and this can cause a lot of shame and isolation.” She encourages parents to name their own feelings and model a healthy relationship with fear. “Explaining to our children, ‘I get scared too. Fear is a feeling, and it’s not unsafe to feel fear,’ while also acknowledging the feeling. . . . ‘Fear is a helpful thing. Fear keeps me safe. Anxiety gives me the information that something may be unsafe around me. No feelings are bad, no feelings are good,’” she notes.

Davidson adds that it can be helpful to normalize intrusive thoughts as something everyone experiences, even if they are uncomfortable or unwanted. She encourages parents to gently name these moments out loud and use them as opportunities to model flexible thinking. “So saying out loud a silly thought [and using the] fortune-telling was sitting here for a second. I was feeling distracted because I was so worried about my work meeting tomorrow. And then I just reminded myself, I have no idea what’s going to happen in the future, right? And I don’t want to let that steal from us having dinner right now,’” she shares.

She explains that this kind of moment becomes a live example of cognitive reframing in action. Rather than staying stuck in worry, the parent is showing how to notice a thought, step back from it, and return to the present. “It becomes a narration of the cognitive restructuring,” she notes, adding that this is a skill that isn’t just for OCD — it’s a universal tool that can benefit everyone.

“Having those conversations out loud and narrating them with our kids is going to be an important thing, both for shame reduction but also for them, learning how to talk to themselves,” she says.

Be patient

Word reflects that while support from her parents was important, frustration or misunderstanding in earlier stages sometimes made symptoms more difficult. She explains that her parents didn’t always recognize how consuming OCD-driven behaviors could be, especially during bedtime routines that involved repetitive checking and rituals.

“In the early days, my parents would get frustrated with me for taking so long to get ready for bed and walking around, locking, unlocking doors, things like that, just because they didn’t realize that this was like such a big part of what I needed,” she shares.

She emphasizes that understanding, patience, and a supportive but consistent approach made a meaningful difference over time. For her, the most helpful responses were calm reminders that reassurance wasn’t needed in the moment, paired with encouragement that she could tolerate the discomfort.

Believe in your child

When children with OCD are struggling with guilt or shame, one of the most powerful supports parents can offer is a steady belief in their child’s ability to handle discomfort. Davidson emphasizes that kids are often more resilient than we realize, even when anxiety makes things feel overwhelming in the moment.

“Our kids are so much more resilient than we give them credit for. They can do really difficult things,” she explains. She notes that while praise and encouragement are important, another key skill is allowing children to experience discomfort rather than always stepping in to remove it. “It’s hard to let your kid be uncomfortable, but them learning that and being able to stand on their own two feet, being able to be self-sufficient — it’s not cruel, it’s not unkind. It is giving them such a very powerful skill, and resilience."

Davidson encourages parents to hold a balanced level of confidence in their child’s abilities — supportive but not overprotective. “Believing in your child’s resilience, having confidence in them. Though not too much confidence; we don’t want to throw them out to the wolves. But understanding that they are so capable.”

That’s what she often talks to parents about during sessions: “Your child is amazing and wonderful and is able to do hard things, and you need to believe in them,” she says. She adds that children often aren’t yet able to see their own strength, so parents play an important role in helping them build that confidence through lived experiences.

Drawing from her own experience, Word offers a few reminders for kids and teens who are currently struggling with OCD, especially those who feel stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure whether things will ever get easier.

There’s no quick fix

Word shares that one of the hardest but most important truths she’s had to accept is that OCD recovery takes time, and there isn’t a fast or immediate solution.

She recalls something her therapist often told her, even when it was frustrating to hear in the moment: “You just have to wait, and you’ve just got to ride the wave.” While it didn’t feel easy, she says it helped reframe her expectations about progress.

“There’s no quick fix for OCD. You just have to give yourself more grace and more time to grow and trust that you will start to feel better. . . . And I think putting in that work and showing up for yourself is super, super important,” she explains. Word emphasizes that healing is gradual and often requires consistency, even when improvement isn’t immediately visible. Word also emphasizes that progress with OCD therapy is rarely linear, and learning to accept that can actually make the process easier over time. “If you’re dead set on progress, progress, I want to get better, and you’re not giving yourself time to adapt to this change, it’s going to hurt you in the long run. I know that’s really hard for young people and parents to hear. It just takes time, but it really does,” she shares.

It won’t be this hard forever

She also speaks to how overwhelming OCD can feel when someone is stuck in a cycle of compulsions, especially for kids and teens who may feel like it will never stop: “It’s really easy when you’re stuck in a compulsion loop to feel like it’s going to last forever,” she says. In those moments, she encourages kids to zoom out and remember that the experience is temporary: “You’re not going to be this age forever. Your brain’s not going to feel like this forever, and it’s not going to be this hard forever. You just have to push through and keep working and just showing up for yourself — that’s what helps the most. And you might fall back a couple times, but I think that’s all part of the process,” she adds.

I’m in control

One of the most important shifts for Word was learning to recognize OCD thoughts as separate from her own identity and decision-making. “Recognizing the difference between OCD thoughts and my normal thoughts was huge for me, because I realized, ‘Oh, I’m the one in control. I don’t have to do this if I don’t want to,” she explains.

She adds that she eventually learned how to choose not to participate in her compulsions: “If [OCD] is going to take me out of my way or make me late to something, then I don’t have to do it. I don’t have to entertain this at all. I don’t have to participate. And definitely isolating the two and making yourself realizing that you’re your own person and OCD is another aspect — I think that was a game changer,” she explains.

Organizations

• International OCD Foundation (IOCDF)
  The leading nonprofit focused specifically on OCD and related disorders. Offers therapist directories, parent resources, education, and support groups for families.
• Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA)
  A national organization providing education, treatment resources, and a therapist directory for anxiety disorders, OCD, PTSD, and depression.
• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
  Organization that offers family support groups, education programs, and peer-led resources for parents navigating mental health conditions, including OCD and anxiety.
• OCD Southern California (OCD SoCal)
  An IOCDF-affiliated organization offering free parent support groups, community events, education, and OCD awareness programs.
• OCD Sacramento Foundation
  An IOCDF affiliate serving Northern and Central California families with OCD education, support groups, and outreach programs.
• IOCDF Local Affiliate Network (California chapters statewide)
  The IOCDF has regional affiliates across California that host support groups, walks, and family education events in different counties.
• Child Mind Institute’s Intensive OCD Program
  The Child Mind Institute Intensive OCD Program offers children and their families an immersive, holistic experience that can make an extraordinary difference in a short period of time.

Books

• Ruby Finds a Worry (children)
• What to Do When You Worry Too Much (children)
• A Thought Is Just a Thought: A Story of Living with OCD (children)
• Up and Down the Worry Hill: A Children’s Book About Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Its Treatment (children)
• Kissing Doorknobs (teens)
• Not As Crazy As I Seem (teens)
• Brave: A Teen Girl's Guide to Beating Worry and Anxiety (teens)
• CHOC Anxiety Recommended Reading